Do you remember The Ugly Duckling, by Hans Christian Andersen?
It was lovely summer weather in the country, and the Golden corn, the green oats, and the haystacks piled up in the Meadows looked beautiful. The stork walking about on his long red legs chattered in the Egyptian language, which he had learned from his mother. The corn fields and meadows were surrounded by large forests, in the midst of which were deep pools. It was, indeed, delightful to walk about in the country. In a sunny spot stood a pleasant old farmhouse close by a deep river and from the house down to the water side grew great burdock leaves, so high, that under the tallest of them a little child could stand upright. The spot was as wild as the center of a thick wood. In this snug retreat sat a duck on her nest, watching for her young brood to hatch; she was beginning to get tired of her task, for the little ones were a long time coming out of their shells, and she seldom had any visitors. The other docs liked much better to swim about in the river than to climb the slippery banks, and sit under a burdock leaf, to have a gossip with her. At length one shell cracked, and then another, and from each egg came a living creature that lifted its head and cried,” Peep, peep.” “Quack, quack,” said the mother, and then they all lacked as well as they could, and looked about them on every side at the large green leaves. Their mother allowed them to look as much as they liked, because green is good for the eyes how large the world is, said the young ducts, when they found how much more room they now had than while they were inside the egg shell. “Do you imagine this is the whole world?” Asked the mother; wait till you have seen the garden; it stretches far beyond that the parson’s field, but I have never ventured to such a distance. “Are you all out?” She continued, rising; no I declare the largest egg lies there still. I wonder how long this is to last. I am quite tired of it; and she seated herself again on the egg.
Between ports during a sea day in the Baltic recently, I took the opportunity to participate in a discussion of this classic fable. The group consisted of about fifteen retirees from Holland, France, Canada, Germany, Australia, UK, and of course, the US. We all spoke accented English, though mine was Texas accented, as was pointed out by other Americans on several occasions during the cruise.
“De oogly dooklink shews dat yew kint till a byook chust by eets kober,” one Dutch lady said.
A British gentleman spoke up; “It takes rather a bit of time to see the beauty in a person.”
“Beauty is only skin deep, eh” a Canadian man offered.
“Well, how are you getting on?” Asked an old duck, who paid her a visit. “One egg is not hatched yet said the duck, it will not break. But just look at all the others, are they not the prettiest little ducklings you ever saw? They are the image of their father, who is so unkind, he never comes to see. Let me see the egg that will not break, said the duck, I have no doubt it is a turkeys egg. I was persuaded to hatch some wants, and after all my care and trouble with the young ones, they were afraid of the water. I quacked and clucked, but all to no purpose. I could not get them to Fincher in. Let me look at the egg. Yes, that’s a turkey egg; take my advice, leave it where it is and teach the other children to swim. I think I will sit on it a little longer said the duck; as I have sat so long already, a few days will be nothing., Said the old duck and she went away Please yourself said the old duck, and she went away. At last the large egg broke and a young one crept forth crying “peep, peep.” It was very large and ugly. The duck stared at it and exclaimed it is very large and not at all like the others. I wonder if it really is a turkey. Lease shall soon find out, however when we go to the water. It must go in, if I have to push it myself.
There were other conversations in other venues throughout our three week Baltic cruise. I was interested in health care systems, so I asked the locals about theirs in each of the cities we visited. Most of the people I talked to were generally paying in the neighborhood of 50{997ab4c1e65fa660c64e6dfea23d436a73c89d6254ad3ae72f887cf583448986} of their salary to taxes, a portion of which went to some form of universal healthcare. All basic medical services are free in most of the countries bordering the Baltic. The people I talked to seemed generally happy with this arrangement. Take a look at this chart:
I also was amazed at how trim the people were in the Baltic cities. I only saw a handful of really fat people in all the cities we visited. I was shocked and a bit ashamed at how awfully fat Americans are when we returned.
On the next day the weather was delightful, and the sun shall brightly on the green burdock leaves, so the mother duck took her young brood down to the water, and jumped in with a splash. Quack. quack, cried she, and one after another little ducklings jumped in. The water closed over their heads, but they came up again in an instant and slam about white Vitelli with their legs paddling under them as easily as possible, and the ugly duckling was also in the water swimming with them. Oh, said the mother that is not a turkey; how well he uses his legs and how upright he holds himself! He is my child, and he is not so very ugly after all if you look at him properly. Quack, quack! Call with me now, I will take you into grand society, and introduce you to the farmyard, but you must keep close to me or you may be trodden upon; and, above all, beware of the cat.
I was struck by the dearth of litter and efficiency of the public transportation systems in Riga, Tallinn, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Helsinki and Amsterdam. Even St. Petersburg had far less litter than most American cities although there was plenty of graffiti in every city. This got me thinking that maybe their health care systems worked well too.
“Ja, es gut fer de kinder,” a German lady said. “Kinder learn to accept udder kinder yust as dey err.” Then she sneezed. “Ka choo!”
“Gezundheit,” I said. A couple of seniors chuckled.
“Danke,” she replied, then blew her nose.
When they reached the farm yard, there was a great disturbance; two families were fighting for an eels head, which, after all, was carried off by the cat. See, children, that are the way of the world, said the mother duck, wedding her beak, for she would have liked the eels head herself. Come, now, use your legs, and let me see how well you can behave. You must bow your heads prettily to that old duck yonder; she is the highest born of them all, and has Spanish blood, therefore she is well off. Don’t you see she has a red flag tied to her leg, which is something very grand, and a great honor for a duck; it shows that everyone is anxious not to lose her, as she can be recognized both by man and beast. Come, now, don’t turn your toes, a well read duckling spreads his feet wide apart, just like his father and mother, in this way; now bend your neck, and say quack. The ducklings did as they were bid but the other duck stared and said, look, here comes another brood, as if there were not enough of us already! And what a queer looking object one of them is; we don’t want him here, and then one flew out and hit him on the neck.
Let him alone, said the mother, he is not doing any harm yes that he is so big and ugly said the spiteful duck, and therefore he must be turned out the others are very pretty children said the old duck, with the rag on her leg, all but that one; I wish his mother could improve him a little. That is impossible, your grace, replied the mother; he is not pretty; but he has a very good disposition, and swims as well or even better than the others. I think he will grow up pretty and perhaps the smaller; he has remained too long in the egg, and therefore his figure is not properly formed; and then she stroked his neck and smoothed the feathers, saying, it is a break, and therefore not of so much consequence. I think he will grow up strong, and able to take care of himself. The other ducklings are graceful enough said the old duck and make yourself at and if you can find an eel’s head you can bring it to me.
“The ducklings represent the different health care systems of northern Europe,” I said to the group. Several people chuckled. “Seriously,” I said out loud to the group, “how you do like the health care in the Netherlands?” I asked the Dutch lady.
“Is goot; is free,” she said. “Thoos texes are high een Holland boot moosht pipl like that system.”
“What about the immigrants, eh,” the Canadian asked.
“Immigrants is problem,” said a large German man. “You have Mexicans, we have Turks and Rumanians.” What about America,” he asked me? Healt ker iss gut in America?”
“We have a new system in America, I said. It is called Obamacare.”
“I dare say Obamacare,” the English lady spoke, requires proper insurance?”
“Yes everyone will be required to have insurance when Obama care goes in to affect.”
“Why don’t yoo yust nationalize de helt kurr zystem like we all dyou,” said a blond lady from Finland. “Thees seestem werks goot fer Finns.”
“That would kill the insurance industry and lower doctors’ pay. I do not think that would fly in Texas.”
“But you have the most expensive, least efficient health care system in the world, eh” said the guy from Canada?
“Canada does not have the immigration problem that we do in Texas,” I said.
“We have a problem with American immigrants coming to live in Canada, eh,” he said. Several people chuckled.
“Well our system may be ugly,” I said, “but there sure are a lot of people coming to Houston hospitals. Some politicians in America have talked about a single payer system; in fact some folks say that Obamacare is the first step toward socialized medicine.”
“Und dat is problem?” the big German said.
And so they made themselves comfortable; but the poor duckling, who had crept out of his shell last of all, and looked so ugly, was bitten and pushed and made fun of, not only by the ducks, but by all the poultry. He is too big, they all said, and the turkey cock, who had been born into the world with Spurs, and fancied himself really and Emperor, puff himself out like a vessel in full sail, and the flu at the duckling, and became quite red in the head with passion, so that the poor little thing did not know where to go, and was quite miserable because he was so ugly and laughed at by the whole farm yard. So it went on from day to day till it got worse and worse the poor duckling was driven about by every wind; even his brothers and sisters were unkind to him, and would say, ah, you ugly creature, I wish the cat would get you, and his mother said she wished he had never been. The ducks packed him, the chickens being him, and the girl who fed the poultry kicked him with feet. So at last he ran away, frightening the little birds in the hedge as he flew over the yard.
“In the story of the ugly duckling, the mother duck says she wishes the ugly duckling had never been born; who pays for abortions in Sweden?” I asked the blue-eyed lady.
Dey err frree,” she said. “Do yoo pay for abortions in Texas,” she asked?”
“Abortions are becoming rarer in Texas,” I said. “We just passed a new law which bans abortions after 20 weeks and required clinics to adhere to different standards,” I said. “We have a state senator who filibustered against the new law. She may run for governor.”
“Ja, we know about her pink roonning choos,” she said. A few seniors chuckled.
They are afraid of me because I am ugly, he said so he closed his eyes, and flew still for until he came out on a large bore, inhabited by wild ducks. Here he remained the whole night, feeling very tired and sorrowful.